I hate Lola! Well at least I do right now ;-)

It 226 am and here I sit fully awake to type this email. Why am I awake?? My dog had potty issues tonight.
I wont get into details, but lets just say the smell alone woke me from a dead sleep.

I wake up to a STENCH and there is now a terrible sinking feeling in my stomach. Being that I too am a freak about bodily fluids, Im seriously FREAKIN OUT. Throw in the weak stomach on top of the dread of having to put my hands anywhere near poo...this is so gonna be bad. Literally, there is a trail all the way to the bathroom (I always put a potty pad down at night, just in case) and its ALL over the bathroom floor. I just want to point out that my house has carpet, which of course where the "trail" is located. Well, thank goodness for the potty pad, but how in the halibut did a 4-lb Chihuahua make such a mess???? Has she been storing it up for a rainy day?? Maybe just waiting for a night like to night, when I dont give into her "cute-shaking-one paw up" routine? It was a conspiracy between the two dogs...I just know it. No more snausages for them.

Anyway, I stand there for a second, on the verge of hysterics, trying to get up the courage to clean it up. Cause, you know with carpet you just cant wipe, you have to scrub...Im teary eyed at this point. I decide to just do it...here goes...

So with my t-shirt pulled up over my mouth/nose (God forbid, I breath that crap in with my mouth open) I head to the kitchen (where there isnt any poo, so why is my face covered??) to find that a) someone other than me has been in my disposable gloves and there are NONE left - note to self: plan daughters demise in the morning and
b)the bleach is in the trunk - note to self: make it an extra painful demise since she was told twice to bring it in. Now Im seriously having a nervous breakdown and the smell it getting worse. I make my first attempt at cleaning the a spot, which went something like this:
cover face
hold breath
wipe
wipe
GAG
GAG
run AWAY!!!

So I get a clean breath of air and I go back in. Repeat following steps until all the little spots are cleaned up. The runner in the hallway is now in the trash, which is a pity cause I really liked it, but can you imagine putting poo in your washer??? Youd have poo germs on all your clothes...not happening.

So now I have to tackle the bathroom, with out puking. Thank GOD for the potty pad, but curse the person who came up with tile grout. I quickly put the potty pad in the trash bag and RUN outside...but wait...Im only in my TSHIRT! Damn it. So I drop the bag and run back into the house, stubbing my toe on the screen door. Sigh.

Now dressed, I head back outside. I forgot to mention how much I dislike going outside when it is dark. I dont just dislike it, I have seriously scardy cat issues with it. It is pitch black dark on my street at night and there are woods on one side of me. At least with a bag full of stinkin' doggie poo, Jason and Freddy wouldnt even attempt to get me. Then I remember I need to get the bleach and wouldnt ya know I actually locked my doors for once. Could this night get any worse??? Back into house for keys to retreive the bleach.

I now pour 3/4 a bottle on the bathroom floor and then realize I had to pee. So...I damn near asphyxiated my self...seriously my eyes were burning and Im light headed (keep your "ur always lightheaded" comments to yourselves, please). So then I start to think about my little dog having another accident and not going into the bathroom, because of the bleach smell. Or worse, what if she did and like...got sick or something from inhaling the bleach?? Damn my conscious! Back out to the car for the little fan, which was still in there from the Girl Scout camp. Wasnt Zachara told to bring that in the house, too?? UGGGHHHHH!!! Shes so dead. As Im plugging the fan in I realize Ive been walking in and out of the straight bleach and then traipsing all over the house, so Ill probably wake up to bleach stained size 9 flip flop tracks. Sob.

Ive now washed and scrubbed my hands at least 4 times, so I guess I can go to bed. I wish there was a way to clean out your nose of all the inhaled poo scented germs, but Im not even gonna get into that.

Okay, Im finally done and now telling you guys all about it and wondering why in the heck I even have a dog, what she ate and scared to death she might have another accident. Oh crap...hold on I gotta go put another potty pad down. Whew! Glad I remembered that. So after all that, Im exhausted, but just realized...I hungry.

Facts about IVF

July 25, 1978 - Louise Joy Brown, born in Oldham, England, arrives as the world's first test-tube baby.

Dec. 28 , 1981 - The birth of Elizabeth Jordan Carr marks the first successful IVF treatment in the U.S. Carr was born in Norfolk, Va., under the direction of doctors Howard Jones and Georgeanna Seegar Jones.

3 million test-tube babies have been born so far.

424,401 IVF babies were delivered in the U.S. between 1985 and 2006, the period that the American Society for Reproductive Medicine has records for.

50,515 babies were born with the help of IVF in 2006, the most recent year that the ASRM has figures for.

126,726- the total number of reported IVF cycles in 2006.

1 in every 100 babies born now are IVF births.

50% of test-tube babies are twins, triplets or other multiple births.

IVF babies are born preemies at 3 times the rate of kids conceived naturally.

2 times as many IVF procedures were reported in 2006 than a decade before.

17 - the percentage of diagnosed fertility problems linked to males alone in 2006.

70 - The age of the oldest woman to give birth via IVF. Omkari Panwar of India reportedly gave birth to a twin boy and girl earlier this month. She and her 77-year-old husband already have two adult daughters, but wanted a male heir.

Introduction

So...you’re here to learn a little bit about me and my family? Well, this could take awhile...
The first to come along, would be me. I made my debut into this world as Kimberly Lee Brown, on March 31, 1978. It was a pretty great year, really. It’s the year of the first cell phone, Space Invaders, a pack of bacon cost .63 , my best friend Andrea was born and it’s the year that Sweden banned the sale of aerosol products. The BeeGees and the Stones are blaring on the 8track players, while Saturday Night Fever and Star Wars are hitting the box office. Lets not forget Happy Days, CHIPS, Little House on the Prairie and The Muppet Show are playing on the tube. Its also, ironically, the year that the first ever "test tube baby" was born. Her name was Louise Brown. Maybe that’s where the desire to become a surrogate came from? Same last name and same birth year??? Makes sense to me. So all in all, Id say it was a darn good year.

I was born to Bonnie and Roger Brown...and a big sister, Megan (a.k.a. Mimi) in a little placed called Ravenna, Ohio. Population twenty-five. Big fun. My parents separated when I was five and we moved around a lot, usually co-habitation with another family member. We packed up and moved to sunny Florida around 1989 and stopped moving around. We settled in Lake Wales, FL, where I stayed through middle and high school (GO HIGHLANDERS). I joined the Army National Guard in 1995 through the split-opt program, when I was barley sixteen. I remained in Lake Wales and the in the Guard until 2002 when I ventured off to Ocala. I now live in Inverness, FL and have been since buying a house almost 2 years ago.

Next to join my little family is my daughter Zachara Jaide, who was born in June of 2000.

How to describe her...hmmm...okay...here goes: DRAMA QUEEN!! Okay, that sums her up.
Seriously, she is the most imaginative, kind hearted and obstinate child, I have ever met. I suppose she is your basic girl to some extent. Make up (not in public), nail polish, High School Musical, puppies, kitten and ponies. But her creativity astounds me every day. She is everything I wanted in a child - girly, but not too girly. She still likes camping, sports and she loves to wrestle. The budding artist and entertainer in her causes her to spend hours in her room, working on her current project. She is the love of my life and possible the best thing to ever happen to me. That being said, I must warn you, she is the miniature version of me. Not so much in the physical department, but all of the personality and definitely the attitude.

I added the self-proclaimed queen of the Brown house, one year while Zachara was visiting my sister in Colorado. That would be little Lola Bella Rose - the homely Chihuahua. I adopted her in hopes it would quench Zachara’s desire for a baby brother/sister. Well, it didn’t. She has consistently requested a baby brother since the time she was two. Anyway, Lola thinks she is our owner and silently (and sometimes, not so silently) commands us lesser beings.

Lola isn’t really all that crazy about Zachara, she’s more into adults. So, I adopted the next addition to our family Stella Luna, who is a pointer, bird dog, mutt mix. Stella is bascially Zachara’s closest thing to a sibling. She weighs about 70lbs and still takes orders from Lola...too funny. She is our "chunky monkey", bed warmer, squirrel chaser and canine vacuum cleaner.

We are a pretty happy bunch, a little crazy and a little spunky. On any given day you’ll find us giggling hysterically, watching classic movies, dancing to our favorite cd and crafting away.
There’s always a little friendly banter and sometimes a little tantrum throwing. Other than that we are your average, small town, little family.

That wraps up a brief history of us...but stay tuned There’s a lot more to come!